Sat
13
Feb
2010
I can't imagine what life would be like without my glasses. Quite fuzzy, I suppose. Glasses definitely make my life more comfortable. So comfortable, in fact, that I often forget I have them on.
Personality is like an old and comfortable pair of glasses. I don't plan to be an extravert. I don't wake up and think "hum, I think I will be original today." I just experience life from an extraverted and original vantage point. The problem is: I could easily judge others according to their proximity or distance to my standards. In this sense, people are not just extraverted or introverted; original or conservative in absolute terms. They are simply more or less extraverted and original than I am.
That gets me thinking of "gut" reactions. People often say - quite proudly - that they "trust their gut." They just know when people are good or bad, trustworthy or dishonest, safe or dangerous. Problem is - how can we be sure our "gut" intution about someone is not, quite simply, a reaction to this someone's uniqueness? Couldn't a strong dislike simply signal difference?
I don't trust my gut. My gut is surprisingly unreliable. My gut has told me to stay away from people who later became close friends. My gut assured me people hated me when in fact they didn't. My gut has steered me in the wrong direction more often than I could count. And that's all right. I don't know. Each human encounter brings the danger and fascination of the unknown ... and the learning that comes from new discoveries.
Life would be boring if I always just knew.
Cris,
For most folks, this would seem the harder path to follow; to resist your gut instincts. Some might say it is admirable or courageous, because it implies that one would be more inclusive and
embracing of the differences in others. In our modern world where diversity is highly treasured, this would be a great attitude to have. I know from personal experience gut feelings can be limiting
and judgmental, and can lead to many missed opportunities. However, depending on several factors in a person’s life, such as prior experience, learned biases, and personality this could be near
impossible in certain situations. I know for myself when I experience pain or embarrassment it leaves an impression in my consciousness to avoid future interactions that could potentially cause me to
repeat those emotions. In addition, we all have biases developed from the teaching and learning within the cultures where we were raised. I think as most people mature they tend to see these biases
as limitations and get beyond them, but some don’t. I would think personality could also play a part in our first instinct reactions. As for myself, who is highly accommodating I tend to trust most
everyone and can be more accepting than say someone with low accommodation, who may have trust issues with just about everyone they meet. Ideally, we would recognize these biases and do some
introspection to find out where they come from and why we tend to marginalize people different than ourselves.
Respectfully Submitted,
Lena Friend
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